Have you ever had one of those moments. You know, one where your brain feels like your house during a lightening storm. Where suddenly everything goes black. Well, welcome to my brain. I'll start by saying I've never been accused of being Albert Einstein, but more like his cousin, Ralph Einstein, the one who got caught eating the glue in kindergarten. I was the rambunctious kid growing up. I had my fair share of tumbles. I fell off the back porch and landed on a brick with my head. I had to get stitches. Fell on my face and my first two teeth went through my bottom lip. Still got the scar some 46 years later. I'm surprised I didn't do no damage to my noggin when I was trying to make diamonds when I was little. The recipe was easy. A bag of glass marbles dumped into our glass blender and turned on full speed! I survived that one, but the glass blender didn't and neither did the fish tank that was right beside it. My all-time greatest accomplishment would be after getting a ball out from under our horse in the pasture, I slapped him on the butt and he field goaled me some 20 feet out behind him. Knocked unconscious and bleeding, my poor Mother thought I was dead, but as hard headed as I was, I regained consciousness and only ended up with a few stitches above my eye. A scar I wear proudly to this day. All you got to do is look at my eyebrow and you can see it, but don't ask me which one. I never can remember it. My head has taken a number of shots over the years, but I keep on going.
Alright back to my problem, my brain. I've been accused of being a few fries short of a Happy Meal, and I've been told I haven't lost all my marbles but, there is definitely a whole in the bag. I'm okay with that. My brain sees things differently and I like it. It's what gives me my sense of humor and my unique outlook on life. I'm okay with that part. It's the other part that drives me nuts. It's the part where the breaker switched off right after high school. I was a very active kid till about 18 and then suddenly I wasn't. I climbed trees, I rode bikes, and I played sports. It's just like my brain shorted out and said, "Nope. No more exercise for you!" I didn't realize it, till here I am 30 years later and weighing 450 lbs. I look back and can see where I just stopped. My brain said,"Sit on this couch, watch a lot of TV, and eat that chocolate bar and cheese puffs!" Yeah, one of my favorite snacks. I would consume countless sodas in a day, and eat big meals late at night, and just sit like a stump on a log. No exercise, no nothing. I would still get up and go to work, and go do the normal stuff a parent would do with three kids. Little league, parties, band, high school sports, and watch them march in band in college. I enjoyed being there for them, but we didn't do much else. Hardly any trips to amusement parks, because Dad was too fat to ride the rides, and didn't want to walk around watching everyone else have fun. What happened to my brain that suddenly made me as dysfunctional as I am. I know a breaker flipped on, and helped me to realize I need a change, and another one flipped on a said you need to exercise, but when do the rest kick on? I got up at 8:00 yesterday morning, and sat around till 4:45 and did nothing. I went and volunteered at a function we had at work for a couple of hours then I went to the gym at 8:00 in the evening!
I met David Brown a couple of years ago at an OKC open call for, "The Biggest Loser." He said, "99% of your weight loss problem is mental. You've got to overcome your old way of thinking, if you want to succeed," I've reached out to him and another Loser Alumni, and asked them both the same question. How do I get myself out of that way of thinking? I've gotten no answer from them yet. Why when I get up for work in the morning, I want to sleep till the last possible moment, scramble to get ready, and make it to work just before I am considered late. Why when we are going out, my wife is ready, but I haven't even put my pants on yet? Where is that magical switch that I can turn back on? Where is that part of my brain that I had as a kid? Why can't I find it now? Did I sit it down somewhere and forget where I put it? Did I puncture it as a kid and it slowly leaked out till I was an adult? Can I start a lost brain Facebook page?
To anyone out there if you see it can you return it to me? I miss it....
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