He Knows If You've Been Bad or Good...

Things over the last couple of weeks have been hectic because of the Holidays. Running a Produce section for a large retailer at Christmas time can be very stressful. I haven't had much of a chance for "me" time either. I had been doing really well with everything, but over the last couple of weeks, it has just been thrown out the window. My visits to the gym has been sporadic. Once or twice a week. I've gotten my steps almost everyday on my FitBit, and a lot of the time I've gone over 4 to 5 thousand steps. My eating has been even worse! I have hardly tracked at all! The problem I've had with the eating is what I call "Once-A-Year Foods." It's those pesky little things you only eat at Christmas that threw the kink in my plan.  The homemade cookies, cinnamon candy, and some white chocolate covered cereal snack. I tried to resist, but found myself eating a piece as I was walking by the bowls. Melody also makes this thing she just calls crack. Puff corn with toffee mixture on it. It's called crack because it's so addicting!

The meal choices weren't to good either. One night it was BBQ hot links and little smokies washed down with Velveeta Queso and tortilla chips. The next night was tacos. Those are special because it was a recipe my mother in law used to make all the time. I've never found another taco like these anywhere! It's what I would call a loose meat taco. The meat sauce is sweet and really juicy, sorta like a marinara sauce. The shells are corn tortillas just dipped in oil long enough to get them warm. Pour the meat on the tortilla and fold it over. Add the lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheese, sour cream, and salsa, then it's complete. I ate eight of them, or I should say I stopped at eight. They were so good, I could've eaten eight more! Up till now, I hadn't drank a single pop in over 3 months. This week I drank 3 Diet Dr. Peppers. I know, Diet Sodas are free on Weight Watchers, but they are a crutch for me. I could easily drink 9 - 10 a day! I quit drinking them because that many a day is just not good for you. I like the option of drinking things that are better for me. Water, tea, coffee, flavored waters, or my favorite is water with lemon squeezed in it.

As I sit here writing this, I feel like a failure. I made a lot of bad choices, and I let Melody make some to. I should've resisted harder. Does it make me want to quit? To be very blunt, there is NO WAY in Hell I'm quitting! I've gone to far to stop now! As of my last weigh-in, I've lost right at 58 pounds since September. Christmas only comes once a year. I've been on this program for only a few short months. This was my first Christmas since starting. Could I have done things differently? Yes. Will I do things differently next year? You bet! I have a whole year to plan and be successful! All the stress is now over. Everyone is gone. We can get back to our routine. Eating healthy and working out.

My plan for the next week will be simple. Go back to basics.

1. Lots of vegetables.
2. Good protein meats.
3. Get to the gym, no matter what. 
4. Keep my hands out of the bowls.

I plan on staying home and watching Oklahoma beat Clemson, then watch the other game between Alabama and Michigan State on New Years Eve. No big party. Nothing fancy. Just me and me family watching the games. A quick toast with fake champagne and off to bed. I have to work on New Years this year.

It late on Christmas night, but I hope everyone had a great Christmas, and took time out to remember why we really celebrate. My hope for you for the upcoming New Year is if your resolution is to lose weight and get healthy again, is that you'll pick a wonderful program like Weight Watchers. The support and the teaching you get with the program now is unlimited. With the new app, you can reach anyone on the program and get support for you in your journey. If you need any help, feel free to message me anytime, and I'll help you too!

Good Bless! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

My Favorite Christmas Song. 

There are Seven Days in a Week. Someday is Not One of Them...

While driving home last night from the gym, I talked with Melody about this video clip. Before I explain myself, let me share what's been going on. I gained last week, but only .4 lbs. Considering we finally had our Thanksgiving last weekend, I was surprised it was only that much. Too much food that I get to eat only each once a year, plus sweets around the house. I ate good, but I could've eaten better. I also found myself just getting burned out with the whole routine. Watching what I eat, working out, watching what I eat, work out, watching what I eat, work out. The whole thing was getting mundane. I found myself not going to the gym for a whole week! I just wanted to come home and relax. Thoughts raced through my head. "Other people are losing weight without working out." "You're tired. rest awhile." "One piece of candy can't hurt." My mind started winning the war against my body again. 

I had to find a way to fight back. I called my trainer, Jared, and asked him to switch things up. My son gave my wife a new power cooker for Christmas, so we've been cooking some better, healthy meals. My workout went great Monday, but sometime Tuesday afternoon, my right ankle started hurting. I'm not sure what happened, but it has been hurting ever since. As much pain as I was in, I went to the gym to do cardio and rode 10 minutes till the pain finally forced me to stop. Wednesday night at the gym I started doing my resistance training, when I started having trouble. The lack of coordination I have was stopping me from doing back lunges. No matter how I tried it felt awkward and I was off balance. I hadn't done a lunge like that in almost 20 years! I persisted on though. As much as my body was wanting me to quit, I couldn't do it! I couldn't cheat myself from giving it my all. Even through all the pain I was having in my ankle, I felt I'd be letting myself down and all the accomplishments I've achieved would be for nothing if I quit or cheated.

This is when I started thinking of this video while working out. I told her I didn't want to be like that little overweight kid. As cute as he was when they take off, he tries his best, but when he sees he is so far behind everybody, he turns around and tries cheating to win. When the dust has settled and at the end of the video, where does that little boy end up? Last of the line. Last place. The bottom. The very end! He gave it an effort, but not his best. He tried to cheat, but still wound up last. I don't want to be that! I want to give it my best effort! If I come in last, who cares? I tried my best! That all that matters. If I cheat myself, and don't eat right, or cutting short my workout routines, I'm going to end up last every time! I told her I want to win. I want to get there! I know eventually, I won't be last. I will gradually move up, and as I do, you better watch out! 

Video Games Ruined My Life! Thank Goodness I Have 2 Left....

My introduction to video games started in the late 70's. We got a Pong game for our TV. It was really cool for the time, and every one wanted to have one. It was basically a tennis game that you and another player could play against each other. I would spend hours on that thing. As I grew older and the games developed, I remember getting an Atari game system. I'd come home from school and hop on it, but Mom would only let me play for a little while, after dinner and homework were done, I'd go back in and play till bedtime. As I got older, I started going to the arcades. At lunch, when I was going to school, I'd go to this place, that I can't remember the name of, on North Porter, just a couple blocks away from school. Dad would give me $2 or $3 for lunch and I'd go up there and get a hot dog and a coke for $1 and spend the rest in video games. There was also a little shack across from our school called The Cubs Den. I'd go there, and get a Kit Kat and a coke for lunch and spend the rest in games. If that wasn't bad enough, I would go to the Gold Mine in Sooner Fashion Mall. That was my favorite! Wall to wall games. All the latest and greatest. I could play there all day. 

When I hit high school and I started making my own money, I'd go whenever I got the chance. When we'd stop after our ball games in high school, instead of sitting with my girl friend, I'd play games till I was broke, then go sit with her. She'd get so mad at me at times, I still think I'm very lucky she married me. When we were dating, I'd drop her off at her house by 11 p.m. and then stop down the block from our house and play video games till 1 or 2 in the morning. Mom got worried about me once and got out to check on me about 2 in the morning. She drove down the road, saw my car at the convenience store, turned around and went home. She never worried about me partying or getting drunk. That would get in the way of my games!

After we got married, we went over to a cousins house. He had a Nintendo. Me and him stayed up all night playing Mario Bros. I saved up all my money. I had to get me one too! I lost many hours of sleep but I had cto rescue the princess! After that there was the Sega, than the Playstion, the Nintendo 64, the Xbox, the Playstion 2, the Xbox 360, and then my last one, the Playstion 3, which I've owned for a couple of years. My youngest son bought himself a Playstion 4, and I'd play on it quite a bit too. If he was at work or asleep, I'd jump at the chance to play for a little bit. I would always jump at a chance to play video games! I feel video games were a big factor into my becoming obese. I'd like nothing better than to sit for hours and play games uninterrupted. Over the years the amount of sleep I've lost would be staggering. I've gone to work too many times after getting only 1 or 2 hours of sleep after staying up all night. My constant sitting around, and lack of proper rest, and eating all different hours, I feel, is what put me in the predicament I'm in.

I hadn't played in a while when I joined Weight Watchers, that was till my son brought home a game called Fallout 4. I had played the previous 3 and was looking forward to playing this one. Over the last couple of weeks, my routine took a hit. I started changing things so I could play it. I didn't change my eating habits I had started, but my gym time became game time. For the first time since I started my jpurney, I was feeling tired and sluggish all day. I wasn't losing alot of sleep, but I thought is was just the stress of Thanksgiving week. After talking to some co-workers, I came to the logical conclusion that I was tired because of the video game. I will sit for hours in the same position and not move a muscle other than my hands or head. I will get so caught up in a game, that I will lose aspect of time. I thought that was okay. Till today. 

My journey took a hard right and veered of the road. I hit the biggest wall yet. How can I get past this wall? It goes up as high as I can see, and as far wide as I can see. This wall has been being built for almost 40 years, so it's huge! The only way I can get through it is to ram a hole right through it, and the only way I can do that is to stop playing games. I've got to quit doing the thing I have been consumed with! That's the only logical way I can see it. To take all my energy that I used to p,aye games with, and focus it into my health. When I bored, leave the tv off, and go to the gym, or go outside. I'm really wanting to buy me a bike and start riding it, so maybe that's something I can focus on. I like to write and I have a song that I've been messing with in my head, so maybe I can write it now. Who knows what I can do now, but it won't be video games! Wow! I can't even believe I'm saying this! I am giving up video games! I've got to! I made a pledge to myself to get healthy no matter the cost! That game cost me .4 lbs this week, but no more! I'm still over 50 lbs lost, and I want to keep it that way!

When You Are Thankful For What You Have, You Share....

This is the time of year where everybody is thankful. Where you slow down and are thankful for everything you have gotten over the previous year. At the end of August, my life took a dramatic turn. Me and Melody decided to change our lives. We wanted to be healthy and lose weight. The journey has been exciting, but it hasn't been easy either, I am very thankful for all my friends and family who have helped me to keep going. Your words of encouragement have meant the world to me. There were a couple of times where I was really doubting myself, but when I read back on some of the things people sent to me on Facebook, it really energized my batteries again to get going.  Thank you so much for the love you have shown both of us and your kind words!

There are two special people I really want to thank for helping us make our dreams a reality. My trainer, the owner of Warrior's Den Health and Fitness, Jared Hardcastle, and our Weight Watcher sponsor, Nanci Noakes. 

Most of my friends know how special Jared is to me. I've known Jared since he was a little tyke. I coached his older brother Colin, in little league football when he was 12 years old and that was nearly 20 years ago. He was a toddler running around the football field playing in the dirt. As he grew up, my oldest son, Colton and Jared became classmates in school and teammates in sports. I've watched him go from a little blonde headed kid running around bugging his brother to running a successful business, and being married with a darling little daughter and another on the way. It's sort of funny how I used to yell and encourage him at games to see him yelling and encouraging me now on my journey. He has made it fun and is constantly helping me with my workouts. From teaching me new stuff to do that helps me get more healthy, to even showing me the proper way to do the exercise so I don't get hurt. It takes a lot to train a fat boy with two bad knees from surgery! Thank you Jared for all you do for me! 

Now Nanci, is one of the greatest sponsors I could ask for! What makes Nanci special to me, is she is a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. She has gone through the program and succeeded! She understands the struggles we face each day making the right decisions. She understands that not everyone likes broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, or a lot of those other vegetables that are healthy for you. She knows how hard it is to choose an orange over chocolate. I have wrote several times about her "getting on to me," but she really isn't. Her insight and experience in going through the same program I am, is really invaluable to me! She's just warning me what my bad decisions can lead to, and encouraging to make the right decisions that will better my health. She has taught me to look beyond the scale on weeks when I don't lose as much as I wanted, and to celebrate with others in their success. After all, we are a group on Thursday nights! We're a dedicated group of people on the same journey together. She has taught me I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my lifestyle. I'm no longer sitting

 on the couch eating junk food, but I'm getting out, being active and eating healthy. She is part counselor, part teacher, but all friend! Thank you Nanci for everything.!

I haven't weighed in this week yet, so my results are still at 50.6 lbs lost in 13 weeks. I'll post something this weekend after I have weighed in Thursday evening. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, and I hope you take the chance and step out to take your own journey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

About 3 weeks ago right after I had lost about 40 lbs.

Before I started my journey

I've lost this much!!!

Hang A Half Hundred on Em'

Growing up in central Oklahoma, within minutes from Norman, Oklahoma, I am a huge fan of the University of Oklahoma. Specifically, their football team. Life was no better than sitting in a stadium with 80,000 screaming fans watching OU destroy an opponent on a Saturday afternoon. I used to joke with a really good pastor friend, that I was raised to believe that heaven was a hundred yard patch of grass in Norman, Ok, while Hell was a hundred yard patch of grass in Austin, Tx. As the lyrics to their fight song say, " Sooner born, and Sooner bred, and when I die, I'll be a Sooner dead," that is exactly me. Being a Sooner fan, you couldn't get anyone better than Barry Switzer. Barry was the head coach of OU from 1973 to 1988. He was as loud, charismatic, and unapologetic as they come. He guided the Sooners to 4 national championships in 73, 74, 77, and in 85. To me, he was as close to God as you could get on Earth. As the Pope is to Catholics, Barry Switzer was to me. It was always God, Barry, and family in that order. His wishbone offense destroyed many other teams, as well as the hope and dreams of many opposing fans as well. I watched OU win by 1 point or I even watched them in 1987, I think, kill Missouri 77 - 0! They did their best to win every game. They would always find a way to win games when no one else said they could. We called that, "Sooner Magic!" Nothing better than OU football in the 80's! When you yell,"Boomer!" I yell,"Sooner!" that's just the way it was. 

Barry Switzer had such a knack for words, it made it entertaining to watch him. He told things like it was. The more honest he was with people, the more I liked him. He was famous for a lot of his quotes regarding the team they were playing week in, week out. My most favorite quote was a statement he made and he tried his darnedest to live up to the expectation every week. It was, "Hang a Half a Hundred on Em'." When he led his team out of the tunnel on every game day, you had to be ready, if not, his goal was to score 50 points on you. He did a many of time too! 

Along my journey, I set small attainable goals to help me reach my ultimate goal of losing 200 lbs. So far I have met all my small goals, but I had yet to reach any of what I call "BIG" goals. My first big goal was 50 pounds. As I inched closer to that goal, Barry's words would resonate with me, and this week I get to proudly exclaim, "I hung a half hundred on them!" I had to weigh in a couple of days early because of the Thanksgiving holiday, and I had lost 7 pounds even! Making my total loss so far, 50.6 lbs! I couldn't believe it! The portion control, the tracking, and the exercise are paying off! I've lost the equivalent of 50 footballs!

I never got the chance to play for him, but yet I feel inspired by him. Thanks Coach Switzer for being a inspiration and role model for me!

Next big goal is 100, so I guess now I will use Billy Tubbs as inspiration to meet that goal.

My Dad and Barry Switzer

The Struggle is REAL....

I've heard people say, "If you say it, it makes things worse!" For example, if you say you're on a winning streak, odds are you'll lose your next game, or you say it's a beautiful day, and then it starts raining. In my case, it's, "If you say the struggle is real, it'll make it even harder." Well, bring it on! "THE STRUGGLE IS REAL'" There. I even yelled it so the people sitting in the cheap seats can hear. 

I had a rough weekend, starting Thursday. At my weigh-in I gained 2.2 back last week. I was really bummed. So much to the fact, I didn't go to the gym on my way home from the Weight Watcher meeting. On Friday, I had all intention of going, but we went to a concert that night, where I drank a couple of mixed drinks and ate some Mexican food. I saved my points so I could eat out, but after the concert, we went home instead of working out. 

I had another strike on Saturday. I told myself to work out after work, but yet again, I ended up sitting on my butt watching a football game. I tracked my food like I was supposed to, but I ended up eating a high point lunch, because the place where I normally get a low point lunch was not serving lunch yet. So far I batted 3-for-3! Sunday, I sat around playing a video game while waiting on the NASCAR finale to come on. After sitting in a chair most of the day, I laid in bed and watched the race. I ended up eating a 12 inch sub with mayonaise for dinner. 

After doing so well for 12 weeks, my brain and body reverted back to my old ways after a dissapointment!  It's like my brain shut down and said, "All I got for you this weekend is a pocketful of Nope!" Why do the neuralizers in my brain sit there and act like it's watching a 125 car cattle train that is going down the track? It just wants to sit and watch while other things are happening around me! I've talked about looking for a magical switch that just turns things off. I think I found it again! I have found myself wanting my old cravings, and wanting to just sit again, all in the last week! 

I know part of me is upset by the gain, but there's another part of me that is getting frustrated. It wants to just scream and shout, " If I'm going to try and lose weight and eat healthy all the time, but instead I gain weight, so what's the point?" I'm not giving up by any means, but that little kid inside me is starting to scream, " I WANT IT NOW!" 

I am far from down and out. I just got to will myself into doing this. I'm at that point where its going to be a fight. I must push myself. Not only am I letting down others if I stop, but I'm letting myself too! The good news is, after the race ended Sunday I did get up and go to the gym late. I worked out for an hour and a half too. So, I'm not broken yet, I'm just a little dinged up. 

Stop Saying,"I Wish." Start Saying, "I Will..."

For those of you that aren't friends with me on Facebook, and that have been waiting on an update, the news is, I lost 2.6 lbs last week. That brings my total lost to 45.2 lbs lost in 11 weeks! I officially got my 10% charm at our Weight Watcher meeting last Thursday. Sitting here thinking about that, just staggers me! I've lost the equivalent of two car tires! I've lost the weight of nine 5 lb. bags of sugar! A 5 year old kid! A 15 foot canoe weighs that much! So, I guess now when people ask me, "How much have you lost now?" I can tell them I lost a 15 foot canoe!

It astonishes me how almost 3 months ago, I was sitting around the house wishing I could do something about being obese to actually doing something about it. I would've never dreamed I'd go to a gym, let alone going five nights a week.

I sat around for years wishing I could lose weight. I sat around on the couch, when I should've been out creating memories for my family. When I see pictures of families out doing things with their kids, I am regretful that my being obese is what my kids will remember about me. Times when I didn't want to go out cause I was tired or out of energy. I missed out on the chance to create some great memories with my boys. Now, don't get me wrong, I did get up and go to a lot of their ball games and band concerts. My boys know how much I love them, but it's the other things that I could've done differently. Instead of me just sitting watching them play on a playground, to actually getting to play with them. It's thoughts like that one, that make me feel regretful for the choices I made for almost 30 years.

The bright side in all of this, is by me getting healthy, I am extending the time I can make memories for my grand-children. Not that there are any on the way, but the hope of them warms my heart.

I told you many times of how I can get around a lot better and can breathe much better too! I've gradually increased my weights on my exercises now, and I'm getting stronger too. When I first started doing leg presses I could only lift around 120lbs. I now regularly lift around 400 each leg day. Thankfully leg day is only once a week, but last week I did my personal record of 500lbs for one lift! Every time I do that exercise it seems really tough, but the reality of it is I do that everyday. Every time I step up a step, or every time I climb a ladder, I am constantly lifting 400 lbs. To me, I knew I was fat, I just never realized I was heavy. When you sit down in that machine, and you unlock the weights, the realization will slap like a mad mother at Walmart. It was the first time I actually felt what 400 lbs. felt like on my legs. You quickly understand why your knees hurt, your ankles are swollen and you feel so tired all the time. My body is worn out from carrying a full oil drum all day. I've still got a long way to goal, but by the time I'm finished I hope than when people ask me how much I lost, that I can proudly exclaim, "I lost a manhole cover!"

Your Wings Already Exist. All You Have To Do Is Fly...

This is my me and few members of my family a couple years ago at the open casting call for The Biggest Loser. I'm on the right, and I was around 425 .lbs that day. We had the pleasure of meeting David Brown there. He came in second the season right before we tried out. He is from OKC, and dropped by to support all of us that came out.He was real pleasant and cheered us on as we waited in line that day. When we met him, I got the pleasure of asking him a few questions. I asked him, "How did you do that?" His answer was, "It's all 90% mental. You have to overcome yourself to lose weight." I knew all along that I had to think differently, I just didn't know how. I wanted to know what would get me off the couch when my body said, "No!" If I couldn't change my habits for 30 years, what would make me want to now?

It took me eight weeks, but I finally figured it out.

I only needed myself. 

I know. Your telling yourself, "That's lame," but I want you to think about it. Your desire to change, has to be greater than the desire not to. If I wanted to be healthy, I had to get up off the couch. I was tired of being out of breath. Tired of having high blood pressure. Tired of clothes not fitting. Tired of the jokes behind my back. You finally get to a point and say enough is enough! You have to work to break that barrier! 

It's not easy. You find yourself looking for excuses not to do it. "It's was a long day at work. I'm too tired to work out tonight." "It's so stressed out. I want some ice cream." "I've got to be at work early tomorrow. I'll stay home and get some rest." Those are just a few that I've used, but what changed the most is when I started seeing results. Once I started to lose the weight. Once I started to be able to work better. Get up more around the house. For the first time in years this week, I was able to lay on my back for a long period of time and not be out of breathe! Being obese, you find things like that are hard. Your fat pushes on your lungs and makes it tough to breathe. When things like that start happening, you don't want to stop. Your brain actually starts to over-ride your body. You find yourself saying things like, "I like being complimented. I can't wait to see what happens next week!" "I just put on a shirt that I haven't wore in years!" When things like that come out of your mouth, you find your brain telling you to get up work out, is easier than not to.

Do you have to go to the gym and work out every night? No, but you find yourself missing it when you don't. As your body changes, and you start to see what is underneath everything, you'll start seeing it like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon. The biggest difference is, this tome, your the butterfly. 

Step by Step.... Inch by Inch...

Sitting here after my first full weight assessment, I was thinking about the positives that I've had since I started this journey. Trying to lose weight, and going inch by inch. The more I thought about the inch by inch part, I was reminded of an old Three Stooges routine I loved. It has nothing to do with my weight loss. It was just a random thought that popped into my head. 

In my last blog, I promised an update. It has been a total of 8 weeks since I started this journey. September 27, 2015 to be precise. Since me and Melody walked through the door at Weight Watchers, nothing has been the same since! We devoted our life to eating healthy and exercising, and has it ever paid off! As of our meeting last Thursday, me and Melody both lost 5.6 .lbs each last week! That brings my total to 39.6 .lbs lost in 8 weeks, and hers to 30! Before my assessment tonight, Melody wanted me to check her measurements. She had lost almost 3 inches around her waist, and 2 of her hips. On her arms and thighs she lost about 1 1/2 inches. I've been bragging on her all week. When we started, she was wearing a size 16 jean, Halloween night we went Trick-or-Treating with our nephew and niece and Melody wore a size 12 comfortably! She dropped 4 pant sizes! I'm so proud of her. She walks on her treadmill 2 - 3 miles every time at the gym, and now she been doing some resistance training and it paying off for her.

Tonight I did some Max sets for the first time in my life. I am really proud of myself! Tonight I bench pressed for the first time in my life and maxed out at 165 .lbs. I really enjoyed that. I've been doing a leg press for a few weeks now, and the most I had gone on that was 120 .lbs. With the encouragement of my trainer, Jared, I maxed out at 470.lbs! Lifting it not only once, but going 7 times! I think I can go higher, but that'll be for the next assessment. The most amazing part of my assessment came from the numbers part of it. It had been 2 full months since we measured, and I was shocked by what I saw. I lost 3 inches around my abdomen, and 5 inches on my hips! I actually gained on my arms, and my calves, but I'm fine with that because I'm building muscles. I can actually see some definition in my arms now. We did a body fat analysis tonight for the first time and I rated at 42%. Which means 42% of me is fat. No surprise there! What surprised me was when Jared did the math, 234 lbs of me is bone and muscle. My goal is 250 .lbs. If I can reach that goal, I'll have hardly any fat! That makes everything seem so exciting! 

I've been doing cardio 5 nights a week and resistance train 2 nights a week, after the great results tonight, we are raising the resistance to 3 nights. My body is feeling really good and my spirits even better. Thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement, and support. It really helps keep me going!

For anyone who wants to join me on my journey, find a Weight Watchers near you and start today. You want be sorry. 

For anyone around the Norman area looking for a gym, call Jared at The Warriors Den Health and Fitness. You and your family can become members, or if you want to get a little bit more out of your workouts, talk to Jared about becoming your personal trainer. I promise you, you won't regret it. 

Lastly, to the small following of people I have in Germany, "Guten Tag and Gotten Segne'"  To the Russians, "Здравствуйте и Бог благословил!"

Life is About Using the Whole Box of Crayons...

When I started out 2 months ago writing about my experiences trying to lose weight, I did it to help me understand everything I was going through. I knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy. After all, I weigh about the same amount of a Volkswagen bug, and if I laid on my back we had the same shape. When I thought about exercise, all I thought about was how much it sounded like "extra fries." I liked to joke that I had a lot of close friends. They were close because they couldn't get out of the gravitational pull. No doubt, I was huge! 451 .lbs to be exact. I was at the point I had to decide what I loved more, food or myself. I chose me. What I have learned over the last several weeks is, at that moment I chose a lot more than me. I didn't know it at the time, but I chose my wife, my kids, my family, and my friends. When I said I want to change the way I have been living, I said a bold statement. I said I want to live! 

It's been an incredible experience so far, and I wouldn't change anything about it. I'm doing things I 

never thought I'd do! I'm working out 5 - 6 days a week. We are getting out and seeing things for the first time. We've been to a corn maze, walked a nature trail, and even walked all over downtown Weatherford, OK. My boys have been in college for 6 years up there and this is the first time we ever got out and walked there. We went into some really nice shops and met some really nice people. Things we hadn't done in the past. We still eat out, but we've encountered a bunch of new healthy ways to do it. I still eat some of my favorite things, I just don't eat a lot of it. I eat till I'm comfortable now, not till I'm stuffed to the gills and don't want to move. I now have energy and stamina to get out and experience a lot of stuff I had been missing. 

What has surprised me the most is how my attitude has been. I've had my moments of frustration, and disappointment, but those have only happened a few times. When I last did Weight Watchers I felt crabby and upset all the time. I felt like taking my food away from me was punishing me. I lost weight, but wasn't happy about it. This time around I feel very happy about what I'm doing. I actually enjoy going to the gym. Don't get me wrong. There are days afterward when I wake up and my body says,"What did you do to me last night? Why did you have to do those extra 200 weighted crunches at the end?" Most of the time though, I feel better after my work outs. I now feel like Leonardo DiCaprio on the deck of the Titanic. I want to stretch out my arms and yell, "King of the World!" 

One of the things I have enjoyed the most has been my humor through this whole ordeal. The ability to sit back and see the humor in things, has always been one of my greatest gifts. I'm glad it hasn't left me. I've been trying to have fun at my meetings without people noticing what I'm up to. My wife found out first. At our meetings, we have to fill out a name badge and wear it so everyone knows who we are. About 3 weeks ago, I decided to write something different. I started with Turd Ferguson, then last week I was Sexy and I know it. This week when I went to fill it out, our Weight Watcher sponsor Nanci, asked me, "Who you going to be this week?" I laughed, and wrote down, Inigo Montoya. He has a famous quote from the movie, The Princess Bride. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Now prepare to die!" I asked her when she noticed and she said last week. I'm not sure how many people know, but I'm sure now more people will notice. 

I know everyone is waiting for an update, but I want to wait till my next blog to fill everyone in. I have my first fitness assessment Monday, and I want to wait till after that to see exactly how everything is going. Please be patient with me, and I promise it'll be worth the wait! 

Have a great Halloween! 

I Got 99 Problems, But Being Skinny Isn't One Of Them...

I don't normally put myself out there, but let's be honest, I'm fat. Well, I'm lying. I'm obese. Being obese brings about about of unique challenges. Simple things like tying your shoes becomes hard. Putting on socks, or even shorts is a chore that leaves me out of breath. Walking is difficult. Between the pain and shortness of breath, you never want to go to a park or on a hike. Eating out can be brutal too. I have to always ask for a table because the tables in booths are almost always stationary and I can't fit in them. To save embarrassment, I always just ask for a table. I haven't been to an amusement park in over 8 years. What's the point? I'm too big for any of the rides. The ones I can fit on are water rides, and when I sit down, they tilt towards the side I'm sitting on. Movies and concerts are buzz kills too. In some places I have to wedge myself into the seat, and the arms poke in my side, ruining the whole experience. I prefer the balcony at the Warren Theatre in Moore, because they are very wide. At our high school or Owen Field, I prefer the benches. I have more room that way. I can fit into the seats at our gym, but again they are uncomfortable. The last time I sat in an actual seat at Owen Field, we sat 11 rows from the top on the east side. We went to see Toby Keith's Tornado fundraiser for Moore. Trying to get comfortable during the all day concert, I broke three chairs because of my weight. The humiliation was unbearable as the people behind us would die laughing after each one broke. There's also the looks you get from people. They nudge their friends, or snicker. You can tell by the way some people think because of the way they move their eyes. When they go wide, you can hear them saying, "Man, he's so fat, that the elevator only goes down!" A lot times, people don't make eye contact at all. It's like they're afraid that the big guy will say something to them. There's the jokes you have to endure too. Whenever we have a cookout at work, someone always says, " Let me get in there before Randy does! I want to make sure I get something!" I've been at games on a sunny day and had people ask me to sep in front of the sun so they can have a shade. I can't tell you how many times I've been called 2 names. Big Ran, Big Boy, or Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na FatMan! I've endured a lot, but I have no one else to blame but myself, but as my new life style takes shape, there's things I will also look forward to.

Buying clothes off the rack, and not having to order it online or shop big and tall sections. I can't wait to actually go to WalMart and buy a size 42 Jean and a large shirt. I want to go to Olive Garden and eat. The last time I was there, their seats had arms on them, and I could barely fit. They had some that didn't, but they refused to let me have one.That was almost 3 years ago. I want to go back, because Melody loves that place. I want to ride a roller coaster. I love NASCAR, and would love to drive one someday, but I put that one the back burner because I could fit through the window in one. I want to dance. Nothing big, just a cool little routine, just because I can. I want to play football. I have always loved the game, but only strapped on a helmet one time. How fun that would be! I want to cross my legs. I want to sit Indian style again. I want to run a 5k. I want to go to White Water. I won't have to endure the "beached whale" comments. I want to wear cowboy boots again and a large belt buckle, with some Wranglers. I used to dress like that all the time as a kid and that's one of the reasons Melody was attracted to me. Don't get me wrong we still love each other to death, and looks doesn't 

define our relationship, but it would be nice to go back down memory lane. I want to ride a mountain bike. I found a really cool one at Academy. It's a ten speed bike, with these great big over-sized tires and it would be awesome to ride out in the country where we live. 

The last thing I want is my biggest request when I get thinner. I want to grow old and be able to run and keep up with my grandkids. Nothing more important than that, but I've got to get healthy first. I'm on my way. I've lost 34.2 lbs in 7 weeks. Can't wait to see how different I am this time next year. 

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

Well, the official result came in, and I gained this week. Was I upset? A little. Was it the end of the world? No, and I'll tell you why. I ate a lot this week. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. I went over my allotted points over the weekend, and even used up all my weekly extra points that I'm given. Now, your asking yourself, "isn't the whole purpose of what he's doing is to lose weight and get healthy?"  Well, yes it is, but we had a special weekend with our son, and we enjoyed our time with him. I talked about us, in a previous blog, going out to an all-you-can eat buffet last Saturday, and eating pizza that night. What I neglected to say was that I ate leftover pizza for two days after that! Talk about a train wreck! It was the first time since we started that we had really let ourselves go. To be honest with you, I'm surprised we lasted that long. We have have eaten out before and ate some wrong things when we weren't tracking properly, but this is the first time in almost 2 months we just cast aside everything and ate. 

I saw a couple of quotes earlier, and they both are great motivators. "Strength is the Product of Struggle," and "If Your Struggling, That's a Good Thing. It Means You Haven't Given Up!" Now read them as one sentence. When I put them together, it meant so much more to me! It shows me I am learning from my mistakes. It means even though I may fall, I'm not staying down, and to be honest with you, we didn't stay down. I didn't wallow in the self-pity of, " Oh No! I messed up! What's the point of me even trying?" I didn't drown in the deep end of the pool of guilt. I pulled up my big boy pants and did what I had to do. I fought back. I hit the gym harder. I pushed myself to ride a little farther, lift a little bit more, or add in some crunches at the end of my workouts. Instead of  5 nights of work outs, we went 6! The results paid off too! Yeah, I gained, but I only gained .4 lbs! I went on a big bender, but fought back and found out just how strong I can be! The best part is I learned a lot about myself. I'm learning there are more important things than the scale. There's my health, there's my family, and I've learned this week, there's my strength. The strength to fight back. Obesity has had me beat down long enough. It has hit on me for 8 rounds. Pinned me numerous times in the corner, and beat me senseless. Knocked me down and the ref has given me a nine count, but guess what? The fights not over. The 9th and deciding round is coming up and I just got my second wind! I can see out of my eyes and I can lift both of my hands. I can walk strong and lift my head up. I am breathing better than I ever have and I am ready for the bell to ring. After this round ends, it'll be my my opponent that lays battered and bruised in the middle of the ring. Obesity won't know what hit him! All he'll be wondering is how in the world did a big Mack truck get in the ring and why didn't nobody warn him it was coming? He'll roll over and as the eyes roll into the back of his head, he'll see the referee raising my hand in victory and the crowd chanting my name!

I remember hearing one of my favorite Preachers, Terry Tramel, recite a  poem once. I was young, but I've remembered it word for word since the first time I heard it over 20 years ago. I hope it'll help you as much as it has helped me.

Press On.

Press on. Press on. Press on.

Press on.

Press on, press on, press on, press on, press on. 

Press on. 

When all else fails,  

Press on.

All or Nothing...

As I was working out tonight, I was thinking about why I have been pushing myself so hard at the gym. Why do I push myself to the verge of collapsing? I know there are greater rewards down the road, but what is it in the back of head that keeps pushing me to succeed. I've been that way most of my life. When I decide to do something, I go all in.  As I look back, I either put my absolute all into something, or just decide it's not for me and quit. In high school playing football, I was consumed with it, and became a team captain. I had jobs where I pushed myself to the limit. I didn't stop until I became either a lead or a manager.  When my boys played in little league football, I wasn't happy just being a dad on the sidelines, I became a coach and the president of their league. When they were in band, I became the booster president. I would volunteer to dive the bus. There were many times I would get up at 4:00 a.m., go to work, get off at 2:00, drive straight to school, get on a bus and drive 60 kids to the other side of the state. Get back to school at 1:00 a.m., and finally crawl into bed around 2:00 a.m., only to get up at 4:00 the next morning and go back to work. In church, I just didn't want to show up. I played guitar in during the service. I was the youth pastor, and I even preached a little bit. I can't be happy with just being along for the ride, I want to be the one driving. When I finally decided to change my life style, I went into my familiar mode. All or nothing. I joined Weight Watchers, and then I joined a gym, where I work out 5 to 6 nights a week. Then to add to the madness, I started writing a blog. I couldn't be just happy with just showing up to my meetings once a week, and just blending in. I had to go all in again.

It's something I've been pondering for a while now, and the other night while talking to my nephew, it finally came to me.  Why do I keep following the same cycle? It's all because of my Dad! He had the same attitude. Whatever he did is was all in. He would go head first, balls to the wall every time! It didn't matter what he did, he wanted to be the best at it, whether it was work or having fun. Once I got thinking about it, I realized how many examples he showed me. He used to chop and sell firewood. He always had to have the best price, then he would deliver it, and it always had to be stacked a certain way. It had to look good. When I was a teenager, we mowed yards and did landscaping together. He would get up before dawn, go do his regular job, then we'd go out after school and we'd work till after dark a many of night. He would run me into the ground. Then he'd get me up early on the weekends and we'd work till dark again. He always wanted the yards mowed and trimmed a certain way. He always wanted his yards to look the best. When he finally decided to go to church, he would mow the yard and landscape it for free. Drive the church van, or clean the church. He did whatever there was to do at the church. He was even the Sunday School president for a while. The only thing Dad couldn't do at church was sing, and those who sat by him know that is a fact! He had the attitude that all I may do is clean toilets, but not only are mine going to be clean, but they're going to be the cleanest you ever seen! He gave his all in everything he did. It was his examples that I have been following my whole life! If he was still here,  I know he'd be proud of everything me and Melody accomplished so far.

 I hear his voice in my head all the time. When I do something I'm proud of I can hear him say, "Awright!" If it is something stupid, it was usually, "Dad-gum it boy, pull your head out of your butt!" I heard that a lot too. As the days go on, and the pounds come off, I know he'd be happy, not only for finally getting off my butt, exercising and getting healthy, but that I was putting my all in! 

Love you Dad!

Lead Me Not Into Temptation; I Can Find The Way Myself.

I am a bad person. Not only did I get in trouble at my Weight watcher meeting on Thursday, I dug a deeper hole for myself Saturday. I deserve a time out. Put me in the corner and put a dunce hat on me. I'm a bad boy.  

Let me start by saying, it's one of those Good News/Bad News situations. The Good News was on Thursday, Melody lost 2.4 lbs. bringing her total to 25.4 lbs. I lost 4.4 lbs last week! The Bad News was I raised a red flag when I did. My total for 6 weeks on my new life style is 34.6 lbs of me gone! The red flag came up because it worries them that I'm losing it too fast and they're afraid it's

unhealthy. I can see their concern with it. They want me to eat my points every day, and lose 2 to 3 pounds in a week. I try to eat my points everyday, but I seem to always come out short. A typical day for me would be, Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs, orange juice, and peanut butter crackers. Total points for Breakfast, 15 points. For lunch: I will eat a ham and cheese 6" sub n wheat bread with mustard, and Funyuns, and wash it down with some unsweetened tea. The meal cost me only 13 points, for break, maybe crackers again for 5.  Dinner might consist of a Smart Ones meal and a can of veggies. That's usually about 10 points max for Dinner. I'll eat a apple or orange for a snack for 0 points. Break that down, I'm eating around 38 points, when I should be eating 71 points a day! The problem I'm having is, to me, 71 points is A LOT of points. In my mind, I want to lose so I'm eating healthy, because I don't like to feel stuffed anymore. To me the more I eat, the less healthy I feel.  I got fat, by eating too much. Why can't I just eat healthy and exercise, and just forget about the weight? That's just a bi-product of my success. My Weight Watcher sponsor Nanci, understands where I'm coming

from, and I can see where she's coming from. They don't want me to be like one of those weight loss

shows where I can harm my body by losing it too quick. I totally get that, but in my mind, I still weigh over 400 lbs! I can go to the bathroom and I can lose 4lbs! I've eaten meals the size of small children before, why isn't hard to conceive that I can drop a few pounds in a week? Now if I was like 150 lbs. and that happened, yeah, I would be concerned, but I weigh more than some of those new smart cars that are now out in the market. For the first time in my life, I'm eating healthy and exercising! Well, sort of....

That brings up Bad News/Worse News/Good News.  Nanci would Bermuda, I actually ate all my points Saturday. The Bad News is, I over ate my points. My wonderful son, Cody treated me and Melody to a Chinese Buffet for lunch. We ate way more than we should! The Worse News is we Used our logic and decided since we have already been bad, might as well be badder, and ate some pizza. I ended up eating 5 slices and a salad. I feel the guilt now, but I went about it healthier than I would've

in the past. I ate Hawaiian pizza. Canadian bacon and pineapple. So it had lean meat and fruit, with a thin crust. Add in the healthy salad, and I at least tried too do better. All in all, I went over 22 points in 1day. The most I had ever gone over in one day. Now here's the good news. We stayed active Friday and Saturday! We exercised Friday and the went to Weatherford, OK. Spent the night, got up Saturday, went and watched our son play for The Pride of the Great Southwest Marching Band. Afterwards we did our first corn maze. I can't understand that when I'm driving, I won't let mt wife give me directions, yet her I was letting her lead us through this corn maze. We saw one sign at least twice, but had a blast! On the way home and exercised some more. I rode 6 1/2 miles on my bike and did 3 sets of medicine ball crunchers! We had a blast all weekend! What will the scale say this week? I don't really care. My new life style is Active and Healthy. Make yours too!

There's no such thing as competitive sitting....

The moment hit tonight. The one I have been dreading the most. The one when my body and brain finally agreed together. Both were saying enough is enough! They changed our shifts at work recently and they split my days off. I get Sunday and Wednesday off every week, except one weekend a month they give me Saturday and Sunday. My last weekend was back right after I started this journey, over a month ago. It's been long and tough, but I have been faithful to keep up my workouts, 5 to 6 days a week. We changed my work outs around a little this week, and while I like the change, my body wasn't happy with me, particularly me knees. I had some issues with the bending part of my exercises, but I know they're there to help me get better. Still, if my knees could've talked last Thursday, they would've unleashed a barrage of a profanity laced tirade at me. I made it through the workout okay, and was met at the door when I got home, by my friend ice pack. I made it through work the next day okay, and even handled Cardio that night. Saturday, I got up at 4:00 a.m. and was at work at 5:00.  Soon as I got off at 2:00 p.m, me and Melody drove to Weatherford to catch our middle son, Cody, participate in a mass band and march at halftime for Southwestern Oklahoma State University. We drove back to Purcell afterwards to pick up Melody's car and finally pulled in home around 11:30 Saturday night. When I woke Sunday, I felt the weight of everything over the last few days collide on my body. Not only did my knees hurt, but my back, and ankles did too. I felt spent. 

When Melody asked me when I wanted to go to the gym, I said I didn't want to go. I was tired and too sore to go. She insisted we go. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen to me. We ended up compromising, she would give me a little bit of time to charge my phone, and then we'd go. We got to the gym, and I was still sore and tired, but guess what? I still worked out. Not much, but I still did it! I only rode a couple of miles on the bike, but that's 2 more than I used to do! Melody did extremely fantastic tonight. She walked almost 3 miles on the treadmill, and rode for 4 on the bike! So proud of her!

What I am enjoying the most out of this journey is doing it with her. She understands my pains and my frustrations. She encourages me when I feel like I can't. She helps me keep track of what I'm eating, and how to eat right. Without her help, I couldn't dare dream of undertaking something like this. She is my rock, and as we tell each other all the time, "I love her more than the world!" 

I encourage anyone else who's on a journey like you to find a buddy. Spouse, significant other, friend, child, co-worker, weight watcher sponsor, or somebody. Anybody! You need someone that can not only keep you accountable, but can give you that encouragement you need when you want to stop. Someone that can push you when you need it. Someone who'll rejoice in your victories and cry with youin you loses. Most importantly, they're with you so you don't have to go through it alone. It's because of my support system, I made it to the gym tonight, and it's because of her I'll make it to the end. 

Buy One, Get the Second Free!

You see all the adds on TV. The infomercials. "Buy our supplement and lose 30, 40, 50, or more pounds! We'll guarantee you'll lose 5 lbs your first week or it free!" You see all the celebrity advertisements too. "Just look how I looked just a short six months ago! I was fat, miserable, and looked horrible, but look at me today! All I did was take these 10 pills a day! 2 in the morning, 2 at breakfast, 2 at lunch, 2 at dinner, and 2 before bed time? I lost 15 pounds in 6 months! Everywhere you look, there's some sort of weight loss gimmick. The newspaper, the Internet, on billboards, in the check out line at the grocery store, and even on menus in restaurants. I get phone calls every day. E-mails touting the latest and greatest weight loss solutions. There is somebody, somewhere at any given time going to try and get you to lose weight. They tell you stuff like, "Look fabulous like me! Fit in to those jeans you haven't wore since high school! Wear that bikini to the beach!" They always tell you to lose weight so you can look fabulous! 

My question is, what happens after you lose the weight and it's time to stop that supplement? What happens when you stop eating those ready to eat meals and have to go back to regular food? Those people who didn't change a thing, but pop a pill, drink a shake, or ate a ready-to-eat meal. The answer is simple, but hard to take. You gain it all back and in most cases even more! Almost everyone of them gained the weight back! They were looking for an easy answer to a tough question. They want it all now, and not worry about what happens down the road. Forget about being healthy, I want to look good! I want people to drool over my good looks! 

So how do you learn to be healthy AND lose weight when something else is doing all the work for you? In my opinion, you can't. You have to learn how to do it yourself. One of my favorite sayings is, "If you do what you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten!"  I even put that in bold, italics, and even underlined it so you'll remember it. I've hung up on some telemarketers, and I even made a few friends and family members upset by not buying their supplements, but I choose the way I wanted to change my life, by changing my life. If you sit on a couch watching TV all day, and popping a pill, eating a meal, or drinking a shake, your not going to ever get healthy. You have to work at it. You have to learn how to get healthy. I didn't want to lose 200 lbs, and then say look at me, the turn around a year later and have gained my weight back. When I first started this journey, I wanted to lose all that weight, and keep it off. Is till want to, but along the way, I learned my health is so much more important. I still weigh over 400 lbs, but I am breathing better than I have in a long time. I'm getting around better than I have in a long time. Getting up and being active for at least an hour a day is really starting to help me. I chose Weight Watchers over other programs, because they teach me not only how to make better selections on food, they also are teaching on portion control. They teach me that I can still go to McDonalds and eat a cheeseburger and fries, but to eat a cheese burger and small fry, not a Big Mac, and super-sized fries. They encourage me to get off the couch, which is something I've been doing. I started working out. I chose Warrior's Den Health and Fitness because I've known Jared since he was a kid. I've been friends with his family for almost 20 years. Not only does he care about me and my health but he does about everyone at his gym. So I think I've got a great foundation set, now to start building on it!